Relationship/ Love Challenged

Hola!

So I have self diagnosed myself recently I am relationship challenged. Like I am not relationship normal. This is a real issue LOL I googled it theres books and all types of shit! I am in some weird type mood lately cause I am not bothered by this at all. I am enjoying the single life! I miss sex, but hell since I am not good at that no strings attached bullshit! I guess I will put my celibacy into overdrive! * sigh *

Nonetheless this explains all the bullshit I have been thru I am relationship unstable! Even tho this is no laughing matter I cant help but laugh! And make a face like this:



* Shrugs whistles and walks away*

Update and shit !

So.... I am single again oddly enough 1 month later I don't feel nearly as bad as one would think! I mean I have my days, but today its one of those days I feel on top of the world!

From this last relationship I learned people don't deserve 2nd chances! I gave a Wes a second chance and he let me down!
So today I deleted Wes's # and all of text messages! I mean after 30 days he hasn't once tried to contact me so wtf is the point of keeping his shit right?! I just find it disturbing we spent 6 months with each other and not one call or text. I love how men minimize shit! Nonetheless I am glad I feel better and have no desire to even want to be friends or anything else with him! I wish him the best in his future! :)

In even better news in 68 day I will be in Dallas. Weird I went to dinner with the girls today and the hostess had this accent! So we all asked where she was from and go figure she was from Dallas Texas! I was so excited to hear her say Dallas! I asked why she left? She stated she wanted a change, but Dallas was a fabulous city and I was gonna love it! If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is!

I Can't by A.Lambert

I CAN'T
Can't eat. Can't sleep.
My minds running wild
.... And I can't catch it!
Thoughts are coming out before my brain can calculate
... Im hurt!
Nothing new though
Everything I see, I've been through before
.... Have I failed?
Failed to realize, life IS about mistakes
But how many times are you going to make them?
... Correct!
Correct my heart
And all the pain it has endured.
... Understand.
Understand that I'm human and I'm entitled to fall
As long as I get up
... I CAN'T say "I can't"

Friends- How many of us have them?

Hey Love bugs! Its been a minute. Time has just been getting away from me! I have been meaning to right this post for a while now! So anyways I want to touch on the subject of friendship. The good, Bad and down right UGLY.

Most recently I have been going through that stage in life where I am getting rid of everything! Whether it be clothes, shoes or sad to say friendships.

Growing up my mom always told me everyone is not your friend. I never believed her, but I tell you she has been right on the money lately! I mean over the years my mom has been a damn good judge of character. She has always expressed who she liked, Disliked and could NOT stand. And most times she was right with her character judgment! Even when she was right I never listened and had to learn the hard way! You ever heard the saying "a hard head makes a soft ass" Ummmm that is me! That saying was made after me. I dont listen until it is too late!

Now I have a horrible habit of holding on to things that aren't so good for me. Friendships especially! As of last year I have cut out a lot people I thought were friends. Friendship is NOT something that is supposed to be convenient or out of convenience. Your supposed to be there for your friends no matter what. I'd like to think I can count on my friends when things are good and bad!

Most recently a friend of mine chose her new boyfriend over our long term friendship. Now this is something that occurs when your young. As an adult I would expect a friend to be able to juggle having a relationship and keeping friendships that were there prior intact. Nonetheless I removed myself from the friendship. I don't have time to be second rate to anyone. If she calls cool, if she sends a text cool. But me making an effort to make our friendship work is a negative! When and if shit hits the fan my phone lines are open. But I will NOT be making any additional effort! The way she ended our last conversation was hurtful, shocking and down right rude.

It always amazes me the things that can come between a friendship, but the one that especially gets me is girls not being able to be separated from their man/men. I think it shows a lot about a persons character if they are so attached to someone they barely even know ! I mean don’t get me wrong I love to see my friends happy, but its extremely unhealthy to not have time apart in a relationship. Time to know what you like and what makes you happy! I was told by a close friend my expectations were too high. But I just don't get it. I guess its not really for me to get.

100 Things to do before I die

I borrowed this idea from one of the many blogs I follow. I have been trying to do this for what seems like forever. I made a few twist and changes but it is harder than one thinks to talk about 100 things to do before you die! The MTV show The Buried Life that asks the very question: "What do you want to do before you die?" So here is my list (in no particular order.) What's on yours?

100. Help at least one couple fall in love. <3
99. Dance in a burlesque show.
98. See a talk show live.
97. Learn all of the words to JJ Fads Supersonic
96. Sleep on the beach in a foreign country
95. Create a successful blog that people enjoy and are eager to read.
94. Buy myself a 2 carat diamond ring just for me.
93. Become a regular in a coffee shop.
92. Become a mommy
91. Learn how to use a hammer and all other tools to fix things.
90. Decorate my house without any help.
89. Travel to Europe solo.
88. Write a letter to all of my enemies. ( I am slowly working thru this as we speak)
87. Yell at someone if he/she deserves it.
86. Learn how to fix a tire.
85. Get a PhD.
84. Have dinner with a celebrity
83. Make a grand romantic gesture.
82. Watch every Godfather movie in one day .
81. See the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone Park.
80. Give my kids "The Talk."
79. Speak publicly in front of a large group.
78. Give blood.
77. Paint a portrait.
76. Raise a puppy.
75. Go to the olympics.
74. Win big in someones casino.
73. Get my gun license.
72. Make a signature cocktail.
71. Drink coffee in Starbucks in Seattle.
70. Find out how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop.
69. Name every type of bone in the human body.
68. Bake a really perfect pie.
67. Learn to tie a tie.
66. Go down the world's largest water slide.
65. Do a marathon.
64. Slap a man in the face.
63. Learn to drive stick.
62. Buy a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes 1 time a month for a year.
61. Drag race
60. Read a best seller every year.
59. Mud wrestle
58. Try to ski. (You know black people don't ski right)
57. Swim in a stranger's pool.
56. Learn to surf.
55. Invite a person in need over for dinner, no questions asked.
54. Proof read a novel.
53. Visit all 50 states.
52. Go camping again. Hated it the 1st time
51. Send an anonymous pizza to someone, somewhere.
50. Write a love letter.
49. Go to a movie premiere.
48. Go to fashion week.
47. Go back to my old neighborhood in ATL .
46. Slow dance in the middle of a club like no one is there .
45. Create a signature look.
44. Eat something and not know what it is.
43. Get drunk at a holiday office party and talk a lot of shit.
42. See all the Rocky movies
41. Swim in the ocean at night
40. Take professional nude pictures.
39. Learn to drive a boat.
38. Throw a fabulous engagement party.
37. Be the maid of honor in a wedding
36. Make my kids homemade cupcakes for every birthday until they are 18.
35. Write a letter to all of my friends telling them how much I value them.
34. Take a road trip cross country.
33. Do a week long silent retreat.
32. Crowd surf.
31. Eat escargot.
30. Be part of a protest (only if I really believe in it!)
29. Perform on stage again.
28. Teach someone something that helps
27. Write a children's book for my kids.
26. Breakdance. In public.
25. Throw a rockin' surprise party.
24. Put a message in a bottle.
23. Make a time capsule.
22. Sing a song to my grandchildren.
21. Watch a volcano erupt.
20. Touch a celebrity.
19. Learn how to give a massage.
18. See Cher perform live.
17. Create a signature dish my family can't get enough of.
16. Visit Graceland.
15.Go on a safari in Africa.
14. See how many marshmellows I can fit in my mouth without choking .
13. Learn how to take an epic photograph.
12. Create a Website.
11. Teach a class.
10. Fly a helicopter.
9. Make a scarpbook of my life.
8. Have my own industrial kitchen.
7. Create a telephone from two plastic cups and a string.
6. Work on a political campaign .
5. Find a life theme song.
4.Buy a red wagon.
3. Make lemonade stand with fresh lemonade.
2. Become a volunteer.
1. Find love that lasts forever. <3

Conscious eating

So my social worker I work with and I were talking about this conscious eating business( she's learned it in her class she's taking) and I am gonna try it! Ill give you a status update in a few weeks! I start tomorrow! :) Happy eating I guess- No,No I hope!


http://blog.pennlive.com/holistic-nutritionist/2008/08/ten_tips_for_conscious_eating.html

Sadly, we live in a society of fast food, meals on the run, and TV dinners. We award each other for being good at multi-tasking. We rarely take the time to prepare meals, eat together, and enjoy our food.
It's time we got back to listening to our bodies and forming a better relationship with food. Here are ten tips for conscious eating;
Eat When Hungry. There is a difference between physical hunger and emotional eating, stress eating, eating from boredom, or timed eating. You can practice recognizing physiological hunger by following these steps before you eat;
- Stop
- Close your eyes
- Take 3-5 deep breaths
- Place your hand on your abdomen and focus on your stomach pouch (internally)
- Notice
- Ask yourself - Where is my hunger? What is my hunger?
Slow Down. Remember digestion begins in the mouth and taste buds are on your tongue not in your stomach! In order to assist your body during digestion, try chewing your food thoroughly. This may mean chewing it 10 times or 30 - whatever it takes to make the food unrecognizable in your mouth. You can practice this with a mindful eating exercise. Take a raisin or dried piece of fruit and exaggerate the eating experience by holding, smelling, and chewing the food slowly.
Enjoy Food. We spend so much time avoiding certain foods or viewing food as the enemy that we forget it can be pleasurable. We may worry that once we eat a food that brings us pleasure we won't be able to stop. Actually, the result is controlled eating rather than out-of-control eating. Ask yourself - What do I feel like eating? Be aware of the taste, texture, temperature, and smell. And believe it or not you don't have to finish it if it doesn't taste good!
Stop Depriving Yourself. Skipping meals, low caloric intake, imbalanced meals, and nutrient deficiencies can all lead to compulsive or binge eating.
Create an Atmosphere. Clear off the table, put down the book, turn off the TV, get away from the computer, put down the phone, get out of the car, sit down, eat with a friend or family member, add candles or flowers to the table, and enjoy!
Stop When Full. Just like hunger, you can practice recognizing fullness. You don't have to be a member of the Clean Plate Club! Every ¼ of your plate follow these steps;
- Put down your fork
- Close your eyes
- Take 3-5 deep breaths
- Place your hand on abdomen and focus on stomach pouch (internally)
- Notice
- Ask yourself - Am I full? How full am I?
Relax Before and After Meals. Avoid starting a meal when you feel tense or angry and try sitting for a half hour after a meal before you reach for dessert.
Discover Your Metabolic Type. Are you a Protein Type, Carbohydrate Type, or Mixed Type? Track your food intake and physical responses to determine your type. Should your diet emphasize protein, complex carbohydrates, or include a balance of both?
Respect Your Individuality. Your body is like no other. You are not your spouse, sister, best friend, coworker, or the person in the magazine. Your life will change the moment you begin taking care of your mind, body, and soul in the way that is best for you.
Learn From Your Experiences. There will be times when you eat too fast, too much, too little, and the wrong choices...and its okay!
If you work towards even one of these changes you will be better off than you were the day before. Enjoy the journey!

Rambles, Rants and Shit

Well where shall I begin first I am watching love and other drugs with Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal the cutest movie. I saw it it in theaters and had to purchase it on DVD :) I wont give the plot away but I want someone to love me like he loved her!

So lets go over my newest stress. So recently had my yearly exam( January) and got my all of my testing updated. I have a clean bill of health as usual or so I thought I get this email from my ob/gyn doctor stating that my A1C is elevated. Now with a slight elevation in my A1C this means I am Borderline Diabetic.... Last fast forward to last thursday National kidney day! I went to have a kidney screening and they found protein in my urine :'(. I automatically freaked out. I have a doctor appt next week. -_- Now when I was diagnosed with the borderline diabetes I decided to do whatever I needed to do to fix it. Cut out sugar, eat rabbit food and working out! I even lost 13 lbs then this extra blow automatic depression sets in! Ill keep you posted on what the doctor says!


On to happier things lets talk about this little busy bee's next couple of months:

*24 days till my homegirls B-day weekend in NYC
*45 days till my birthday B-day weekend in NYC
*71 days till Cabo with the social butterflies

Now all these events require new shit and I am sad to report I have one dress and its the purple one that is required for Cabo!
* ROLLS EYES *. Now when did it become all difficult and shit to find a dress. I hate people at the mall because they act all savage like! And don't even get me started on the online world cause this shit is all cheap looking expect a few. Ahhhhhhhh I just need some dresses. Wish I had so type of magic wand to get me dressed * Cries *